A Mother's Day Moment

Mother's Day is coming up....and it's the first year I won't get to spend with my mom. To some, it may not seem like a big deal. For me, I would rather be with her than anywhere else.

I am probably one of the luckiest girls alive. Most people think of a "mom" as someone who yells all the time or gets into our business too much. But, while I may have thought that ten years ago, I now appreciate what a great mom I have. I'm one of the lucky ones. My mom is my biggest fan and my biggest supporter.

I've been through some hard times and I can't remember a time when my mom hasn't been there for me.  She has always, no matter what, had my best interest at heart and thought of me first. My mother is the most beautiful, kind-hearted person I have ever known. She thinks of everyone else first and I'm lucky enough to call her my mom.

Now, let's not lie. Yes, she's a clean freak who jumps at a dust bunny she sees from across the room or someone who vacuums right next to us, while Rab and I are napping. But, the truth is, she has been the constant support system I have had for 23 years. She's stronger than I could ever imagine being and she's mine. And for that, I am very thankful.

So, to my mom,
I wouldn't be where I am without you--I am who I am because of what you taught me. I am so proud to call you my mom. You are the most amazing woman I have met and I look up to you with all my heart. I've gone through a lot of ups and downs this year and you've been there through everything. Thank you for being you and thank you for believing in me. I miss not seeing you everyday but I take comfort in the fact that you believe in me and I am so thankful that we have such a great relationship where we talk once a day (sometimes more)--it makes me feel like you are here with me. Words can't describe how thankful I am to have you in my life. I am truly the luckiest girl in the world.

I love you to the moon and back. Happy Mother's Day.

Here are some lyrics to a song that I think describes how I feel about you and how, hopefully, you feel about me <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLS0Y40WwlAIn my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
I am a hero
I am strong and wise
And I know no fear

But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

When she wraps her hand around my finger
It puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hanging on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light, it's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes, I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone, I hope you'll see
How happy she made me
I'll be there, in my daughter's eyes

A Serious Moment

Most of the people that I know now, I have known for a very long time. Some of those people I have considered really close friends. In fact, I have considered some of them best friends. Friends to count on in times of need or friends to support me in big moments (like moving to an entirely different city...alone). Unfortunately, things don't always turn out the way we expect. Unfortunately, people we thought would be there, aren't there anymore.

While this may seem like a negative post, it really isn't. To be honest, I think we all go through it. We make big changes...we move on...we grow up. And the big question remains, "Who is going to be there for me?".  While it hurt me, I had to come to the conclusion that someone I truly cared about and someone who I thought I did so much for, just turned on me and pretended like there was never a friendship there. It's not a fun feeling. Trust me, I've spent night after night after night wondering why someone I have always tried to be a good friend to gave up on me so fast...without a second thought.

However, regardless of the cliche, I do believe in the statement, "Everything happens for a reason." Although I can't put my finger on it right now, there is a reason for everything that happened. There is a reason (an unfortunate reason) that this friendship ended; a friendship that had previously lasted head-on competition, many nights with too many cocktails and too many other things.

Moving to Chicago has given me a sense of clarity. Although I miss those who used to know me so well, I am thankful for those who have stuck by me. It's important to recognize those who understood what a hard time I was having when I moved here...those who talked me through it all and gave me confidence in who I had/would become.

Since technically I am suppose to provide some sort of insight in my posts, I will say this...

Moving away from someplace where you felt so comfortable has its disadvantages. It's not all fun and exciting. I wish I could say it were. But, it's hard and unfortunately, you realize that not all your friends will truly stick by you through everything. That's a hard concept. It's something that most people don't want to face.

But once you face that, I promise, it gets better. To me, it's about focusing on those who have been there...those who truly understand what it's like to be a friend, through thick and thin. It's about believing in each other and trusting that with the support of a good friendship, you can make it through anything. I wouldn't have made it through living in this new world of mine without the support of my wonderful family and those friends who chose to stick by me.

Life isn't easy. We all have moments that we aren't proud of and we all wish situations would have ended differently. Everything happens the way it happens, but the way we deal with it is what defines us and shapes us into the people we will become. 

In the end, I’m thankful for all types of friendships. However, I’m most thankful for those friends who have stuck by me because they’ve shaped me into the kind of friend I want to be.

To my close friends, you know who you are <3